Thursday, August 04, 2005

The sublime and the angst of urban life

Indigo calls this "sublime." We went to Point Reyes a few weeks ago and it was so foggy, you couldn't see where the fog ended and the water of Abbott's Lagoon began. We sat in the fog for several hours while flattened on the beach listening to the waves.

I wish I was there now. Sometimes I feel like I am just not cut out to be in the urban setting, flogging the art business like Sisyphus. I don't want to do it. And most of it takes away from the studio anyway. I have terrible angst and worries. This, if you don't already know, is the artist's burden. I suppose some people enjoy it. It is hard to know whether or not it makes a difference. Sometimes it just feels so hard and unsustainable both financially and emotionally. I think the art process always has me facing my fears.

I played on my drums for a couple of hours since the beach was a bit far. I am trying to internalize the metronome.